May's been full of adventures.  Mostly with figuring out how to manage the house and the yard.  Believe it or not, I bought my first lawn mower and mowed my first lawn.  It definitely got easier the second time around.  And for you haters out there - if you're not brought up or taught how to do something when you were young, obviously you don't know how to do it.  You have an idea but actually doing it, is probably not what you had imagined. :P  The lot of you probably have seen the video my good friend posted on FB and to spare myself any more criticisms, ya'll can check that out and look at pictures there. 

 

Motorstadt is coming up - June 8th.  Finally got the time off and updated the Gti a bit.  There's a couple more things I want to do, but don't really have the time for it or money.  The main thing I gotta do is detail the shit outta it.  There's hay, straw, Helo-Ro-Baja fur everywhere, dirt, probably tons of crumbs (xD), tea, coffee...it's had a rough year, especially since going to the barn since November.  I'm skipping out on Euro Hangar this year.  I really would like to go except 1) it's 3-4 hours drive 2) I'll have to take time off work 3) no pet care while I'm gone for 1-2 days.  Just not practical for me this year especially with going to San Diego this September.

 

Sky (the horse) had his teeth floated and his one giant wolf tooth removed.  I'll see him this weekend and I'm not allowed to put a bit in his mouth yet so we'll see how that works out.  He needs to plump up a bit after the Winter.  I've yet to get my new grazing muzzle in (had to return the one they sent me, the size was for a Horse, but it looked like it was for a Draft).  We'll have to see how he'll tolerates that, he loves food... Poor guy.  But I definitely don't feel bad if it also helps with the cribbing issue. Punk ass horse.

 

Oh, it was my birthday month too and surprisingly wasn't as terrible as I thought.  I know, I know, age is just a number, it doesn't reflect who you are. Blah Blah Blah.  There's still the biological clock that's ticking and no one can help that although I'm getting better at ignoring it. 

Saying that I was caught off guard this past month would be false.  There's been a lot of change lately and so far, things have been okay.  I mean, to change is to make a material difference so that the thing, what ever it may be, is distinctly different from what it was.  I want to say that changes are more than a material difference.  It's more than just a deviation.  It's a transformation both outwardly and inwardly as well.    Thinking back on the things I've been dealt with and how I've handled them, I would say I've definitely grown.  Surprising how only a few years can add so much to your repertoire as far as life experiences go.  Granted, I'm still not exactly where I want to be at this age in my life, but I think for the first time . . . I'm okay with it.  There are still times when I feel like I've made the wrong decisions, but in retrospect, I wouldn't have lived differently or changed it because things don't work out for a reason.  And to force it to work out just isn't how it's supposed to be done.  We're in the time where we can screw up and make mistakes.  Learn from it and hope we won't do it again.  Make bad choices, make good choices. Figure out our own lives.  As long as there is a choice, it's worth while. 

 

The difficulty in all that is time is getting shorter.  I can't even remember what I did last week, and before I know it, it's already the end of the month.  Time flies whether you're having fun or not.  Ever since the post-college wasteland days, time is getting shorter and shorter.  Of course I always wonder where I'm going to be in x-amount of years, what I'll be doing, where I'll be at.  But in reality, it's actually a waste of time to think those things.  I can't seem to be able to follow my own advice - to just live, and live for today.  I think all these years I've been so used to being tough and self reliant that now, I'm just getting tired.  I've been doing it for so long, it's become second nature and hard to break myself from it.  I hate to admit that sometimes I do need help and that I'm not okay.  It's taken me a while to learn that that's fine though.  You can't rely on yourself for everything.   Which brings me to truly realize how grateful I am to have the support system I have.  I have my health, there's no major disasters in my life.  I have a good career going for me.  I have a lot of things I want, but the necessities are all there so I really can't complain. 

 

G.D. Falksen once said that there are three simple rules in life.

1)  If you do not go after what you want, you'll never have it.

2) If you do not ask, the answer will always be no.

3) If you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place.

 

What do you think?

  

If only once you would let me, only just one time

Then be happy with the consequence

With whatever's gonna happen tonight.

[Jimmy.Eat.World.Work]